In My Mind
by ElenaDSalvatore
Summary: "Alaric had to compel away my memories bit by bit. So show me!" Damon's back and elena can't remember who he is... Truly. What if there's a way to remind her of the love they shared?
1. Chapter 1

Part 1

"What do you mean Alaric's not human?" Elena asked. How could this be happening? She was finally ready to remember how she felt about Damon. And now this?

"I'm Sorry, Elena." Caroline said as she pulled Elena into a hug. "What are you going to do?"

Elena turned around to walk to her car only to stop once she'd opened the door. "I'm going to see Damon."

She got into her car and drove off. She was so ready for this to be over. If what she had with Damon was so 'epic' how could she not remember?

"Hey you." Damon said when she walked into Alaric's apartment.

Alaric had rented a place a few minutes from the college so that it was easier for him. Besides, he couldn't exactly go back to his loft.

"Hi." She whispered back. "Did you get the news?"

"What? You mean the fact that my girlfriend doesn't know who the hell I am and the only person who can do something about it can't anymore? Cause yeah I got the news." He lifted up the bottle of bourbon that was in his hand and shot it down his throat in a split second.

"Why are you here, anyway?" He said coldly. "I thought you didn't care."

"If there's something worth remembering, then I want to remember it." She said slowly which made him laugh. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing... I was just thinking about how I went through hell to make it back to you and don't even know who I am... At least not the real me." He replied harshly.

"So show me." She smiled.

"What?" He said, not quite sure what she was asking.

"Alaric said he had to erase my memories bit by bit. So show me what he took away." She sat down on the couch in front him and lay down.

"What are you saying,Elena?" He asked hopefully.

"I know I'm still a vampire but a part of my memories is missing so my mind is weak. You can get into my head and show me. Show me what we were."

He slowly approached the couch. Was he actually doing this? Was she actually letting him?

He sat down on the floor and placed his hand on her head as she felt herself slowly losing consciousness. "I love you." She heard him whisper before everything turned to black.

Xxxx

"Elena Gilbert escorted by Stefan Salvatore." Elena heard Carol Lovkwood say.

Elena watched as a memory version of herself walked down the staircase. She stopped in the middle when she saw Stefan wasn't there. But in the blink of an eye, Damon was standing. He put his arm out for her and she questioningly grabbed it.

"Where's Stefan?" She heard herself ask.

"I don't know." He whispered through gritted teeth.

They walked out of the mansion onto the dance floor outside. They both stood opposite each other. When the music started they took a step closer.

"What do we do?" Elena whispered through a smile.

"For now. We just have to get through this."

They returned to their original positions before one again meeting in the middle. This time though, their hands didn't touch. They walked in a circle with their hands held up, almost touching, but seperate. After a few seconds they both stopped.

Then they started moving the same way, just in the opposite direction. Once the song hit it's chorus they were ballroom dancing. Elena saw a smile creeping onto her face.

He was good at this.

The song ended and they both took their places in the starting position. Elena took a curtsy and Damon did a little vow that made elena giggle.

Then everything went black.

"That was the first time we ever danced together." He whispered.

"I didn't know you stepped in for him." She announced. "Alaric must've compelled me to think it... That I was left without an escort."

"Are you ready for the next one?" He asked, ignoring what she'd just said.

She just nodded and grabbed his hand as she felt herself being pulled into oblivion.

Xxxx

Elena and Damon stand on the gilbert house porch as a different memory Elena walks up only to be met with Damon,exiting the house.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"Failed and feeble attempt of doing the right thing." He replied. Real elena watches as the two stay silent for a few seconds.

"Which was...?" She asked.

"Not important." He says, ignoring the hesitation in her voice. "Let me take this for you."

He grabs the dress that she'd been holding from the party for founders day.

"Thank you." She smiles at him and he gives her a sincere look that showcases how vulnerable he is.

"You know I came into this town wanting to destroy it." He began. "Tonight I found myself wanting to protect it. How does that happen? I'm not a hero, Elena. I don't do good. It's not in me."

"Maybe it is." She whispers.

He shook his head. "No. Nah, it's reserved for my brother, and you...and Bonnie...even though she has every reason to hate me, she still helped Stefan save me."

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

He smiled. "Because she did it for you. Which means somewhere along the line, you decided I was worth saving. And I wanted to thank you for that."

"You're welcome."

He leans forward and gives her a light kiss on her cheek. When he starts to straighten himself, their eyes meet. He hesitates for a second but then gives in.

He puts his lips on hers and the whole world stops. It's just him and Elena and nothing could be more right. But then jenna opens the door. Damon tries to hide himself, but it's no use. She's already seen him.

"Hi." Elena whispers, blushing.

"It's late you should probably come inside." Jenna suggests, giving Damon a look full of rage.

Elena looks at him and they share a long, lingering look. He hands her the dress and she goes into the house.

"What are you doing?" Damon hears Jenna yell at Elena.

"I don't want to talk about it." She snaps back.

Damon, still standing in front of a closed door, brushes a finger against his lips and then,in seconds, is gone.

The memory fades away and Elena looks at real damon.

"That wasn't me." She realizes.

"Nope." He pops the 'p'.

"Did you know?" She asks. "Did you know it was Katherine?"

"Does it look like I did?" He says coldly before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the next memory.

Xxxx

Elena and Damon open their eyes to find that they're in Elena's bedroom. God, how Elena missed her room, her house, Mystic Falls.

"Cute PJ's." They hear damon say as Elena steps out of the bathroom.

"I'm tired Damon!" She says, annoyed at him for coming here.

"I brought you this." He lifts his hand and she sees her necklace. The one Stefan had given her. The promise of his love...of their love.

"I thought that was gone." She smiled at him. "Thank you."

She attempts to catch it but he pulls it back. "Please give it back."

"I just have to say something..." He raises his hands in mock surrender.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" She asks, terrified. He sees her taking a step back.

"Well, because what I'm about to say is... Probably the most selfish thing I've said in my life." He says, sincerely.

"Damon don't go there." She begs. She's afraid they won't be able to come back from this. If he says it, there's no going back.

"No, I just have to say it. You just need to hear it once." He whispered.

"I love you, Elena." And there it was. Those three words that scared both of them straight to the core.

He didn't want to be weak like this.

She didn't want to break his heart.

It was too late. There was no going back. "And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this."

"I don't deserve you.. But my brother does." He kisses her on her forehead.

"God, I wish you didn't have to forget this... But you do." He compels her as a single tear escapes from his eye.

She closes her eyes and when they're open again, he's gone. But she doesn't know it. She doesn't know any of it. She just knows that once again, her necklace is on her neck again.

"You used compulsion on me!" Real Elena yells at Damon.

"Are you seriously judging me right now about using compulsion?" He smirks.

"Let's just move on to the next one." She raises her hand in mock surrender.

"Your wish is my command.." He says sarcastically before pulling her to the next one.

Xxxx

An all new memory damon is sitting on his bed when Elena walks into his room.

"Ugh. Look klaus had to think she was dead. You reaction had to be real." He said in an annoyed tone.

"I understand why you did what you did. Klaus was fooled. Bonnie's alive." She began.

"But let's get one thing straight, Damon. Bonnie will not die for me, I will not let that happen." She said in a serious manner.

"We need to kill klaus, Elena. Real klaus. Who will probably be coming to pay you a visit soon now that he knows Bonnie is dead. She's the only one who can do it." He explains.

"We'll find another way."

"I hope so." He whispers.

"Look, I shouldn't have hit you." She apologizes.

"Apology accepted." He smiles.

"But let ME be clear about something. If it comes down to you and the witch again, I would gladly let Bonnie die." He says harshly.

"I will always choose you." He finishes.

They're both silent for a moment as she processes what he's just said.

"Goodnight, Damon." She finally says before turning to the door.

"Goodnight Elena." He replies.

It all fades away leaving Elena staring at Damon in awe.

Did he always fight with her like this? Fight for her like this?

She didn't have time to ask him anything before they were pulled towards the next memory.

Xxxx

They open their eyes and once again they're in Damon's room. This time though, the setting is worse.

Damon's lying on the bed, he's in Elena's arms. She's so worried... It's all over her face. But she's trying so hard to hide it.

"This is even more pitiful than I thought." Damon says, barely getting each word out.

"There still hope." Elena reassures him.

"I've made a lot of choices that have gotten me here." His eyes meet hers. "I deserve this... I deserve to die."

"No you don't." She cries.

"It's ok, Elena. 'Cause if I'd had chosen differently I wouldn't have met you." They smile at each other.

"I'm so sorry." He continues. "I've done so many things to hurt you."

"It's okay.. I forgive you." She says through tears.

"I know you love Stefan and it will always be Stefan." He starts as she takes his hand. She lays down next to him and places her head on his chest. "But I love you, you should know that."

"I do." She cried. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why couldn't she just hate him instead?

"You should've met me in 1864." He smiles. "You would've liked me then."

"I like you now." She whispers. "Just the way you are."

He closes his eyes and she kisses him. It's a delicate kiss. Representing everything that this moment is. Short lived yet perfect. She loves it. So does he.

"Thank you." He whispers.

Then everything fades.

"What happened?" Elena yells at Damon.

"Katherine showed up with the cure." He whispers.

"Is that when..." She points between the two of them. "This..? Started?"

"God, I wish." He says sarcastically. "You were just to stubborn."

Then they're gone.

Xxxx

When Elena opens her eyes they're in Stefan's room. She remembers it as if it had been just yesterday that she last stepped in.

She missed it. She missed mystic falls. Her mom, her dad, jenna, so many people died because of her and she missed them all.

Elena is looking into the mirror, getting ready. Damon enters and gives her a judgmental look.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to lose it." She pauses. "At least not before the cake."

He smiles at her. "It's your party, you can cry if you want to."

He starts walking towards her. He stops when he gets to the dresser. There's a picture of Elena and Stefan. He picks it up to look at.

"Ah, Stefan, such a pack rat." He jokes.

"I got you something." He says which earns him an annoyed look from her. "I know I promised not to buy you anything, so don't worry... I didn't pay for it."

She looks at him in horror. "You stole it?"

"No!" He says defensively. "I found it."

He opens a box and takes out her necklace. The vervain one Stefan got her.

"My necklace. I thought I'd never see it again." She whispers.

"Alaric found it in his loft. I figured you might be happy to have it back."

"I am happy." She smiles. "Thank You."

"You're welcome." He smiles, a real smile.

"Can you..?" She asks gesturing for him to help her with the necklace.

"Ah, Absolutely." He obliges. She turns around and he puts it on for her.

Their eyes meet as she turns around and for a second, Elena wants to kiss him. Just put her lips against his and see what happens. But the moment soon ends when Damon offers his arm.

"Shall we?" He asks and she miss before intertwining her arm with his and walking together out of the room.

Real Elena stares at Damon once everything disappears. "What!" He says defensively.

"Why were you always giving that to me?" She asks but he just shrugs.

"Didn't it represent hope for Stefan and I?"

"I used to be a really good guy." He says sarcastically as she follows him to the next memory.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Elena was getting tired. It seemed like they'd been gone for days when in truth it had barely been over an hour yet.

"How long left?" She whined.

"God, I wish you'd been in such a hurry during the actual thing!" He snaps. She was getting on his last nerve. "We can leave if you want. All you have to do is wake up."

She watches as he smirks. He knows that she can't wake up. She's tried (and failed) miserably so many times to wake up.

It just wasn't happening. She knew he wasn't doing it because her mind was weak, but it wasn't that weak.

She could tell just by the way he looked at her in all these memories that he loved her. And she knew she loved him.

The keyword there being LOVED.

She tried so hard to feel something towards him but every time she closed her eyes all she saw was Damon snapping Jeremy's neck.

She's actually started to trust Damon. To care about him back then. Maybe even fall for him. But the second he killed Jeremy, everything changed.

Wait, how was this happening? She remembers caring about him.

"Alaric said he compelled away ALL good memories of you?" She asks.

"Yeah..." He hesitates. "So?"

"I just remembered something. It's not a moment, a voice; it's not even a stupid glimpse. It's just a feeling."

"What kind of a feeling?" He asks hopefully.

"I cared about you." She smiles. "Before you killed Jeremy."

He sighs. "Well that's a start." He whispers. He turns around and continues to look on into the distance when she breaks the silence.

"Damon?"

"Yeah?" He nods and turns to look at her.

"I loved you." She smiled. "I don't know how I know it. Or why. All I know is that every time we see a new memory I see my old self falling in love with you."

She hesitates for a second before continuing. "You should know something."

"And what's that?" He says it so softly, he isn't even sure if she heard it.

"I was going to ask Alaric to in compel me."

"What?" He asks, stunned by her confession.

"I swore to myself that if you survived the whole 'crossing over the border' thing id do it." She says and catches a hint of a smile on his face.

"You know for the past 5 months all I could think about was seeing you... Hearing your voice...being with you." He pauses. "I was so scared you were going to hate me for breaking my promise."

"What promise?" She asks.

"The promise that I'd never leave you... And the one that I'd make it back to you. All I want is to pretend like these past 6 months never happened."

"You know when Alaric called me on my way to your place he asked me what I wanted.." She pauses. "I said I wanted to be able to look you in the eye knowing all that I do and all that I don't. And be able to feel what I felt."

"I want that too." He whispers.

"You know there's another way to do this..." She says softly.

"What's that?" He asks hopefully.

She hesitates. She doesn't remember him but she knows he won't like what she's thinking. "I could cross the border into mystic falls."

Xxxx

When they open their eyes. They're in the living room of the Salvatore boarding house.

Elena is sitting on the couch, the fireplace her background, and her face covered in tears.

Damon's hands her a glass. "Here have some bourbon. It'll help you forget."

She drinks it but gags when it burns her throat.

"Yeah, it's strong." Damon says.

His voice is soft and calm. Something tells her that he only uses this voice with her. She feels the same way about the look he's giving her. The ones that's sending electric sparks down her spine.

"You know. I can help you forget too... At least the memories you don't want to keep." He says. He hates seeing her in pain likes this.

"No." She says quickly. "No compulsion. I need to remember all of it."

He takes something out of his pocket. "I stole it back for you."

He hands her necklace. At this point, it doesn't surprise her anymore. He's always going to be giving that necklace. The one that is the reason Elena's fighting for Stefan.

Because he loves her.

Then she remembers. Stefan.

"He's really gone this time." She sobs. "I watched it happen. After everything we've gone through to get... To help him. Now he's just...gone."

He gives a look of sympathy and gently placed his hand on her leg. "Where were you, Damon?" She sobs.

It breaks his heart. Because he's the reason she's like this. If only he'd been here... He could've stopped this from happening.

He stares straight into her eyes. "I never should've left." He whispers. "I promise you. I will never leave you again."

They share a look that stretches through all of eternity but in actuality lasts about a minute.

Once everything's gone Elena looks at Damon. "When was this one?"

She couldn't recognize anything that had just happened.

"The night Stefan flipped his switch." He whispers and she slowly nods.

"Can we go to the next one?" She whispers before he says yes.

And then they're gone...

Xxxx

"This was after I compelled Jeremy" Damon says as he sees himself and a very human Elena.

"Just in case you're wondering."

Elena's about to say something when memory her starts talking.

"I feel like a horrible person." She says wiping away almost dry tears.

"You just saved his life, Elena." Damon reassures her.

"Take it from me... Estranged is bad, but...dead is worse."

She nodded slowly. "I know. I just can't stop thinking about what happened the last time I asked you to compel him."

"He found out." Damon states firmly. "And he got over it."

"Again, not dead, Elena." He takes a few steps closer to her. "He's so lucky to have you for a sister."

She smiled at him...a genuine smile. "Thank you."

He takes another step forward. "No problem."

"Not just for this, Damon...for everything. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here."

He turns to leave but after a few seconds he looks back at her. "You should know this, Elena. Stefan didn't screw us over."

She gives him a confused look, so he continues. "He screwed us over... But he had a good reason."

"What?" She asks.

"He saved Klaus to save me... Then he stole the coffins to get even." He whispered.

"Damon, if he did it to protect you, then... Why would he even do that? I mean... What does it even mean."

"What does it mean?" He repeats incredulously.

"It means I'm an idiot. Cause I thought for one second I didn't have to feel guilty."

She stared at him confused. "What are you talking about? Guilty for what?"

"For wanting what I want." He whispers.

It takes a few seconds but eventually the realization dawns on her and she knows what he means.

He's talking about her.

"Damon..." She protests, not sure what to say.

"No, I know." He says coldly. "Believe me, I get it. Brothers girl and all."

He starts to walk away but then realizes that he can't. Not yet.

" . You know what?" He says and he starts moving towards her. "If I'm going to feel guilty about something... I'm going to feel guilty about this."

And then it happens. His lips come crashing down onto hers and the world-in its entire vampire, hybrid craziness- actually makes sense. He knows it. So does she.

Eventually he slowly pulls out and smiles at her.

"Goodnight Elena." He whispers before disappearing off into the night leaving a stunned Elena behind him.

"Why did you kiss me?" Real Elena yells at Damon.

"Why did you kiss me back?" He asks.

She wants to answer. She wishes she could give him an answer. Be the girl he wants her to be... He needs her to be. But she can't... She doesn't remember.

Xxxx

Damon walks out of the bathroom, shirtless, Jeremy is asleep and Elena is lying in her bed but she's still awake.

"Where was this?" Present Elena asks Damon.

"Denver." He replies before they both continue to watch.

Memory Damon grabs a bottle of whiskey. Elena watches from beneath the covers of the bed.

Damon grabs his shirt from the table beside him and puts it on. He pours himself a glass of whiskey and stares out of the window while drinking it.

Elena can't stop looking at him and eventually his eyes meet hers. Blushing from the sudden electricity, she looks down and closes her eyes.

He looks at her and smirks. He's not sure if she wanted him to know she was awake...but he does.

She opens her eyes and looks at him. Once again their gazes meet. Damon puts his glass down and goes to lie down next to her.

They stay silent for a few seconds before she asks "You never told me about that...what you did for Rose."

"It wasn't about you." He whispers.

She smiles at him. "Why don't you let people see the good in you?"

"Because when people see good they expect good." He says sadly. "I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations."

Their eyes meet again and she feels a passion burning inside of her. She feels it when he looks at her says her name, touches her. She feels the passion and it's intoxicating.

She turns so that she's lying on her back. She can't look him in the eye. She feels herself take a deep breath.

Damon's watching her. He can read her like an open book. He slowly moves his hand towards hers and interlaces their fingers.

This is too much. It's overwhelming, really. Especially for Elena. He looks up at her. And there's all the passion she wanted. Everything she's ever wanted is looking her straight in the eye.

She just didn't know it yet. She gets up and walks out of the room.

She makes it all the way to the ice machine. She actually thinks he's not coming. But then she heard footsteps... His footsteps.

She feels him getting closer. "Don't." She begs.

"Why not, Elena?" He whispers

His voice is so broken... So vulnerable. She shouldn't do this. She's with Stefan. She loves Stefan. She doesn't want to hurt him. But it's too late because she's already kissing Damon.

The kiss isn't like any they've had before. The one they shared before Stefan left was sweet and soft. It only lasted a few seconds. The one they'd shared the night Damon compelled Jeremy was spontaneous. It began and ended before Elena even knew what was happening. But this one was special.

It was passionate, dangerous ...consuming. All the lust and desire that had been building up between them was finally free.

Before she knows it, they're up against a post. He kisses her on her neck, leaving trails of his scent all along her neck. He smelt like bourbon. She lifts her hands from behind him and cups his face.

Their eyes meet and the world just stops. Nothing's happening. They're just two people standing in a motel in the middle of nowhere. Two people who love each other.

They continue kissing, occasionally pulling back to breathe, until Jeremy shows up. He looks at Elena.

"Elena?" He asks, surprised by what he's seeing.

"Oh my god! Jeremy!" She squeals. She pushes Damon away and try's to fix up her clothes.

"Rose found Mary. She lives in Kansas." He says slowly.

"Ok then. Let's go." Damon interrupts.

He goes back inside. Jeremy looks at Elena, disappointed, but eventually he goes back inside. She seems a little confused.

The memory fades and Present Damon looks at Elena.

"Are you sure you wanna keep going?" He asks.

"Yes. Knowing there's a whole part of my life missing, it's driving me insane. I wanna at least try to remember." She says, on the brink of tears.

"Okay." He whispers before they both disappear and move on.

Xxxx

"Is that a bonfire?" Elena asks pointing to the view of the background in the newest memory.

"Yep..." Damon says.

"I don't remember any bonfires except for..." She paused.

"The night your parents died." He finished for her.

"Is this?" She whispered. This couldn't be real.

"Yep." He said softly. "It's that night."

"Why are we here?" She asks coldly.

"It's the night we met." Damon whispers.

"What? No. No. I remember when we met. It was at the boarding house." She yelled, accusingly.

"That's the thing... I kinda-" he got cut off by the sound by someone else's voice.

It was the voice he'd grown accustom to over the past 2 years. The one that belonged to the love of his life. He looked up and saw memory elena walking on the road in front of them.

"I know, Bonnie, you're right. You and my mom both are. I just.. I can't bring myself to tell him. At least not tonight... I'll call you later." She says into the phone.

She hangs up and checks the time on her phone. When she looks up Damon's in front of her.

"Katherine." He whispers.

"Um...no... I... I'm elena." She says.

He seems disappointed. "Oh. You... You just... Im sorry. You just really remind me of someone."

When she still seems a bit agitated he smiles. "I'm Damon."

"Not to be rude or anything, Damon, but it's kinda creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere." She calms down.

"You're one to talk." He jokes. "You're out here all by yourself."

"It's mystic falls..." She reassures him. "Nothing bad ever happens here."

He stays quiet and she jumps at the opportunity.

"I got into a fight with my boyfriend." She swings her phone in front of him.

"About what? May I ask?" He raises his hands in mock surrender.

"Life...the future, he's got it all mapped out." She says, sadly.

"And you don't want it?"

"I don't know what I want." She whispers.

"Well,that's not true. You want what everybody wants..." He says.

"What?" She asks playfully. "A mysterious stranger with all the answers?"

"Hmm." He smiles. "Well let's just say I've been around a long time. I've learned a few things."

"So tell me, Damon, what is it that I want?" She challenges him.

He scans her face for any sign of fear but he can't see it. God, he wishes this girl was Katherine. His Katherine. But she wasn't. She was someone else... Yet he found himself smiling like a fool whenever she said his name.

"You want what everybody wants." He says sincerely. "You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, and adventure, and even a little danger."

She's surprised. He practically just read her like a magazine. He knew her. Even though he'd only known her for about 2 minutes... He knew her.

"So what do you want?" She asks.

The question comes as a surprise. He doesn't know the answer to it. He wishes he did. He needs Katherine. He needs his brother. But he doesn't necessarily want either of them right now.

He's about to answer when they hear a car hooting. It's coming around the block... Towards them.

"That's my parents." She smiles.

When she turns around he's right in front if her. They're standing eye to eye and he uses that to his advantage.

"I want you to get everything you're looking for, but right now I want you to forget this ever happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet." He compels her.

"Goodnight Elena." Then he disappears.

"You compelled me?" Real elena yells.

"Yup." He said ignoring her tone.

"How could you do that?"

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is I did." He pulls her arm and in a split second they're both gone.

Xxxx

Present Elena and Damon don't even have a chance to talk as the next memory unfolds in front of them.

"You were going to kill him!" Elena yells at Damon.

"Yep." He smirks. "The guy just won't die."

"It was my choice to save him." She sounds like she's about to start crying. "Why aren't you seeing that?"

He sighs and starts walking to his car. "It's a little hard to keep track of all your choices lately, Elena."

He's on the brink of getting into his car when she speaks again.

"I remember everything." She whispers and he freezes in place. "One of the highlights of my transition, remembering everything you compelled me to forget."

He comes back next to her.

"Like how you and I first met." She says with a smile. "We were strangers and you told me you wanted me to get everything I wanted out of life."

He's practically breathing on her by now. "Damon, why didn't you tell me?" She cries.

"Would it have made a difference?" He yells, taking a step back.

She doesn't answer... She doesn't have to. He knows her answer... It'll ALWAYS be Stefan.

"I didn't think so." He says coldly.

"You asked me to make a choice, Damon. So if you're going to be mad,then take it out on me, not on Stefan or Matt or anyone else... Me." She yelled.

"Are we done here?" He says ignorantly.

"If it'd been you on that bridge last night and not Stefan and is begged you to save Matt..." She asks but he cuts her off.

"I would've saved you in a heartbeat!" He yells. "No questions asked."

"That's what I thought. And then Matt would be dead." She whispers.

"Matt would be dead." Her voice is louder this time...Firmer.

"But you wouldn't be!" He argues. "You would've gotten to grow up and have the life that you life you deserved. And I know I didn't used to get that but I do now. And I wanted that for you,Elena. And I would've gladly have given it to you and let Matt die. Because I am that selfish."

She doesn't say anything so he continues. "But you already know that." He whispers. "The night we met isn't the only thing you remember."

He gets into his car and drives away before everything fades away.

She doesn't look at him. He doesn't look at her. And just like that... The next memory begins.

**Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews **** ill try to have the final part up by next week. Its almost ready. Again thanks so much for all the support. **


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Memory elena wakes up and sees her daylight ring on her finger, she sits up confuse. Until she sees Damon sitting next to the window. A little smile creeps on to her face, luckily she manages to hide it.

"Fished it out of the river for you." He says. His voice has slight traces of sarcasm in it. "Little tip..vampires hate to swim."

She smiles at him and he smiles back. There's so much she wants to say... Needs to say. But how does she?

"How you feeling?" He breaks her line of thoughts.

"My heads clear." She reassures him. "I can remember everything. But not like I lived it... Like it was a really bad dream."

He just nods patiently and can't help but smile after she says "You saved me."

"Thank you." She whispers.

"Well you know what they say about teenage suicide." He jokes.

"Don't do it!" He points at her and she lets out a little laugh. He loves seeing her smile like this. It's the most beautiful thing in the world to him.

"I just can't believe I almost..." She trails off.

"You weren't yourself." He says softly.

"Yeah but if it weren't for you..." She reaches out for his hand and interlaces their fingers. He smiles at her but then gives her a guilty look.

She gives him a questioning look so he elaborates. "I'm about to take a very... High and annoying road and tell you something. Because I know that you think Stefan's been lying to you. Which, yeah. He has. But this... rough patch that you two have been going through, it's not what you think. Everything that he's been doing, he's been doing for you. To help you. And after he kills me for telling you this, I want you to throw my ashes off of Wickery Bridge, ok? There may be a way out of this for you, Elena. There may be a cure."

And it fades out.

"God, if I knew you were so 'team stelena' I wouldn't have agreed to this." Real Elena jokes.

"Team Stelena?" Damon raises his brows.

"It's just a stupid thing caroline used to say." She says but he keeps looking at her. "Can we please just carry on?"

"Are you sure you want to?" Damon asked softly.

"What do you mean?"

"I've already showed you almost everything...maybe it's just not working." He shrugs.

"Don't give up just yet." She smiles.

Xxxx

When their eyes open, memory Damon is descending a staircase. At first, elena isn't sure when this is but after awhile she realizes. It's the lockwood mansion.

As Damon reaches the bottom of the staircase, Elena appears at the top. "Damon?" She calls.

"Still here." He says in his bad boy way. God, she loved that so much... She love HIM so much.

"We need to talk." She whispers.

"Stefan told me about the breakup." Damon says. "I'd say I'm sorry... But I'm not."

Elena starts walking down getting closer to him each second.

"What did he say?" She asks when she reaches his. If she'd taken another step there lips would be on top of each other. Then again, isn't that what they both wanted?

"Oh you know Stef." He says sarcastically. "The guy just went on and on about it. Wouldn't shut up."

"So he didn't tell you why?" She whispered, giving her broken heart a chance to hope.

"Nope" he says harshly but then his voice softens. "But I'm sure it has something to do with why you're acting all weird so why don't you tell me."

Her mind runs over all the million possible ways to tell him. How exactly do you tell someone you broke up with their brother to be with them?

"You." She whispers. And that one simple word changes everything.

The memory disappears just as professor Shane walks in interrupting their moment.

"Did it work?" Damon asks and when she shakes her head he just says. "Then let's just go back, Elena!"

"No, damon I want to remember!" She yells. "Considering you won't even consider the option where I cross the border... This is our only shot."

"No." He yells. "You need to get this into that stubborn little head of yours!"

"I'm not letting you hurt yourself just for a bunch of stupid memories!" He says.

"Clearly they're not stupid or we wouldn't be here." She fights back.

"Whatever." He says. "Let's just move on."

"Fine by me."

Xxxx

"Here." Damon said as he passed her a glass.

"Thanks." She smiled taking a sip.

"I was being polite." He gave her a confused look.

"I thought you hated bourbon?"

"Yeah well my brother wants to kill me." She smiled raising her glass.

"Join the club." He said sarcastically as their glasses bumped each other.

She smiled for a few seconds but then became serious. "Jeremy can't live with me, Stefan wasn't a to fix me, and Caroline flat out admitted that she doesn't like me this way. I think it's safe to say I'm not doing so well with this vampire stuff." She sighed.

"You want to know what I think?" He asked, sincerely. She smiled and gave a little nod. "I don't think I've ever seen you more alive."

Their eyes meet and all Elena can think about is **kissing** him. Right here, right now. It's all she wants. But the he takes a sip of his bourbon and the moment is gone.

"That dance they did today..." She smiled at him. "It kinda reminded me of-"

"When we danced together." He finished for her.

She smiled at him and he smiled back. "I wanted to dance with you today."

He stood up and reaches out for her hand. She takes it and they move towards the fireplace. He places his hand on her back and pulls her in close. She wraps one arm around his neck and uses the other to intertwine her fingers into his.

They start moving together...In sync. As if they were made to be this way...together. She gently rests her head in the crook of his neck.

After a few moments of silence, she lifts her head and their eyes meet. Elena watches as they connect. Memory Damon then lifts her hand up and spins her around.

She spins and when she returns back to her position he kisses her. It starts of as something precious. It's a moment in which the whole universe disappears. It's just the two of them. Then it transformed . The kiss becomes more than that. It's the result of holding back for more than a year. It's passion...desire...lust.

Before she knows it, memory Elena has him pinned against a wall and he's placing kisses all over her face. She rips open his shirt and wraps her leg around his waist. They continue like this for a few minutes before memory Damon uses his vamp-speed and carries memory Elena away.

Elena stands in the living room in complete shock." This wasn't because of the sire bond." She told him. It wasn't a question. She was simply stating a fact.

But he nodded anyway. She grabbed his hand and for what seemed like the millionth time that night, felt herself being ripped away from the scene in front of her.

Xxxx

When they open their eyes. They're in Damon's room. He's putting on his shirt.

"God this better not be an episode of sex and the city!" Elena mutters to which Damon smirks.

"Trust me... That's definitely not what this was." He replies.

"Then what is it?" She whispers.

"Our moment." He smiles.

She's about to ask him to elaborate when an all new memory elena walks in.

"I wanted to apologize." Damon says when she walks in.

"Good." She says harshly.

"Let me finish." He snaps. "I said I wanted to, and then I realized, I'm not sorry."

"You would rather die, than be human and you expect me to be okay with that?" She yells.

"I didn't say you have to be okay with it." He says coldly. "I just said I'm not sorry.."

She stares at him in disbelief. "But you know what I really am?" He continues. " I make bad choices that hurt you. Yes I would rather die then be human. I would rather die right now, then spent a handful of years with you only to lose you when I'm to told and sick and miserable and you're still you. I would rather die right now, then spent my last final years remembering how good I had it and how happy I was because that's who I am Elena, and I'm not gonna change, and there's no apology in the world that encompasses all the reasons that I'm wrong for you."

She stares at him. Is he insane? Selfish? God, he is everything but that. Sure, He's made all the wrong choices but it's lead to this moment... Here... The two of them... Together.

"Fine." She says. "Then I'm not sorry either. I'm not sorry that I met you. I'm not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything, that in death you're the one who made me feel most alive."

He looks at her. Daring her to do it... To say it.

"You've been...a terrible person. You made all the wrong choices and off all the choices that I've made, this will prove to be the worst but I'm not sorry that I'm in love with you."

He stares at her. She didn't. She didn't just say it. She doesn't love him... She can't. But he's wrong. If only he knew how completely wrong he was?

"I love you Damon." She whispers before running into his arms, her lips crashing on his as soon as their bodies collide. It doesn't take long before they've become one. Moving together...in sync... Made for one another.

Then the memory disappears.

"That's it?" She whispers. Sad that it's over and she can't remember. But happy that they got the ending they deserved.

"Thank god, no." Damon whispers.

Xxxx

"I've been playing this moment in my head for the past 4 months." Damon says.

"Why?" She asks.

"You'll see." He whispers as the memory starts.

They're staring up at the sky and the rain starts falling with the stars. Elena let out a little laugh accompanied by one of her smiles that Damon would kill to see everyday and looked over to Damon. He smiled at her and grabbed her arm, gesturing for them to go back to the car.

"Come on, time to abandon ship," he said. Elena shook her head.

"No, no, no, wait," Elena said, looking back up at the sky. "Just give it a second; it'll clear up."

Damon smiled at her and leaned in for a kiss, holding her hands in his own. The moment his lips touched hers, warmth erupted from her skin and spread down her arms, across her chest, up to her cheeks. She grabbed him and pulled him closer, wanting-needing-only him. They broke the kiss.

Elena stared into his beautiful ocean blue eyes and she knew that she would never find a love like this again; she basked in the feeling of pure freedom and entirety that he gave her. She knew she could never let him go.

"Promise me this is forever," Elena said over the sound of the rain. She needed this. They both did.

"I promise," Damon smirked.. They rejoined lips.

She finally felt complete. The moment they describe in movies. The moment when you know everything's going to be okay because you've found that person... That one person. The one who completes you. And she did. She finally found him—her soul mate.

"I love you." He whispers, unconsciously. As soon as he realizes it, he flashes her an apologetic look.

"It's okay." She whispers. "I'm sorry I can't be her."

"I don't need you to be her." He says as it all starts to fade. "I need you to be here..."

Xxxx

"The next memory was a short one. And I can only create it from what you told me about it." Damon tells her as they get pulled away.

When Elena opens her eyes they're standing in the middle of the woods. They stay there for a few minutes and nothing happens.

Even Damon's about to give up on this memory. But they see memory Elena running through the woods. She looks like she's in a lot of pain. She keeps screaming and grabbing her head.

Elena recognizes it instantly. "This is when Katherine was passenger in my body."

Damon nods but looks confused. "You remember this?" She nods.

They follow memory Elena as she makes her way through the woods. She keeps trying to call someone but she can't unlock her phone.

When she finally reaches the road Damon's there.

"Damon!" She yells.

"Elena. Hey! What's wrong?" He asks worriedly. She doesn't answer. Instead she pulls him closer and buries her head in his neck. When she lifts her head up her eyes go dark and then it's not her...it's Katherine.

Everything fades away as Damon watches Elena in awe.

"I don't remember that part." She whispers.

"Of course you don't." He snaps. "You didn't want to."

She grabs his chin and forces him to turn his face around. "I may not remember anything but I know for a fact that I didn't forget because I wanted to."

He smiles and then it happens again, they're pulled away.

Xxxx

"You should have noticed." Memory Elena states.

"What?" Damon asks, caught of guard by the sound of her voice. Although he wasn't sure he understood what she was saying.

"That I was Katherine. That Katherine was me. You should have been the one that noticed." She says and feels her eyes beginning to burn.

"You don't think I know that?" He snaps.

Did she not get how guilty he was feeling about it already? He'd brought this on. It was all his fault.

"If only you'd seen through her, Damon..." She says his name in a way he hates...she says it with pity. The last time she'd used it like that was when he told her it'll always be Stefan.

"There would be no vampire virus. Aaron would still be alive…"She says.

"Katherine didn't do this."He says coldly."I did. I thought you broke my heart so I ripped open Aaron's neck. That is how much control you have over me!"

"And I'm still here. That's how much control you have over me" She yells back.

The room goes silent. If they had any, there heartbeats would be the only sound. Instead they stand in deafening silence for what feels like centuries.

"Listen to us. This is toxic. We are in a toxic relationship, Elena. I just killed your friend and you find someone else to blame." He states.

"You want me to blame you?" She screams."Easy. Done. You screwed up, Damon. Again"

"Thank you." He mocks.

You put me in a position where I have to defend you. Again. Where I have to bend my morals. Again. Where I have to go against every single thing that I believe in. Again!" She says, her voice getting louder each second.

"Because I love you" She cries.

"Then stop loving me."

"I can't!" She whispers.

Everything fades away. Elena looks at Damon, confused when she sees him looking worried.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"The memory wasn't over." He snaps.

"What does that mean?"

"Your mind is putting up barriers, blocking me from entering any further." Damon says, not sure whether to be crushed or hopeful. Crushed that he can't show her what they were. Or hopeful that it means her mind is patching up the wholes giving her back the memories.

"So now what?" She asks.

"We move faster." He says and a new memory begins.

Xxxx

"This ones a real quickie." Damon says as it starts.

They see Stefan and Elena get out of a car. Memory Elena walks up to Jeremy and they say something but neither Elena nor Damon are sure what it is, vampire hearing in tact.

They watch Elena take a deep rears before walking straight to Damon and capturing his lips in a kiss.

"What was that for?" Damon asks once it's over.

"I had a really crappy day and I needed it." Elena smirks. He smiles at her...a real smile. The one he keeps just for her.

"I thought I was never going to see you again and I couldn't think of a worse way to die." She says as a single tear falls from her eye.

Then it's gone.

"You know what?" Real Elena asks Damon.

"What?" He whispers.

"All this time we've been doing this... Going through my memories and so much has happened." She trailed off.

"Is there a point here?" He asks coldly.

"I'm glad you're back." She looks at him. It's a look that makes him question- just for a second- if she was actually the old her... The normal her... His Elena.

Xxxx

"What the hell are you doing?" Damon says as memory Elena gets into his car and buckles her seatbelt.

"You said to respect your choice and I did. Now, you can respect mine." She says.

"Wow. No. No. That's not how this works, Elena. The second we cross that border, you're going to feel everything... you're going to drown all over again.. It's going to take you back to the night you died as a human." He says. She any do this. She'll die... Which will kill him:

"I know what I signed up for,

Damon and I'm all in." She snaps as if she's annoyed by his tone. But she isn't. She knew he'd do this.

"What are you staring at?" She mock snaps. "Drive!"

And so he does. He smiles at her and she smiles back. And that says everything.

"Hurry! We have to die while we're still vampires, or.."

As the car comes closer to the Mystic grill she starts to panic and begins choking on the water inside her... It becomes evident...She's dying.

"No!No! Come on!" He yells picking up speed."

"Damon..." She cries.

"I know." He whispers as he grabs her hand. She doesn't need to say it. He loves her, just as she does him.

Then the car hits the grill and everything blows up in their faces... Literally.

"What now?" Elena whispers in tears.

"It's almost over." He says coldly.

Xxxx

"You lied to me." Memory Elena sobbed.

Memory Damon moved towards her. "Even if I wanted to apologize.. You couldn't hear me, so I won't."

He ran a finger through her hair.

She felt it and wished like hell she could feel it. "Please don't leave me." She begged.

"I don't have a choice, baby." He whispered, sadly. "You are by far the far the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my 173 years on this earth."

Elena watched how broken she must've been to lose him. She wished she could feel that way about him. All she saw him as was a monster.

She continued to watch a Damon bared his heart to her. "The fact that I get to die knowing that I was loved. Not just by anyone, but by you, Elena Gilbert... It's the epitome of a fulfilled life."

Memory Elena began break. She slid herself down onto the floor sobbing. Damon follows her. He sat down on front of her. It was so magical. She couldn't even see him yet Somehow they were always in sync.

"It's never going to get any better this.." Damon whispers. "I peaked."

He runs her cheek and grabs her hand. She might not be able to see him, but she sure as hell could feel him. And there was no way in hell he wasn't using that to his advantage.

"I love you, Elena." He whispers as she breaks into tears ,more than before.

"Please..." She sobs. "Please come back to me."

"Bye." He whispers before getting up to leave.

Everything fades away leaving Elena and Damon watching into the distance.

She turns to him in tears. "Is that it?"

"That's it. That's how our love story ends." He said coldly. "You can wake up now and go back to this incredulous excuse of a life you've started." He snaps before vanishing

Xxxx

Elena opened her eyes as the last memory faded. She sat up and scanned the room for damon but he wasn't there.

She got up and got in her car and drove. She had no ideas where she was going... She just had to find him.

Xxxx

Damon was sitting in a bar, drowning his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey, when it happened.

There was a flash of light. It burned his eyes to look at it so he closed them. When he opened them he thought he was dreaming.

"Bonnie!" He smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't think I was going to let you get all the attention did you?" She said sarcastically. Damon pulls her in for a hug.

"What happened?" Damon asked, ignoring her statement.

"I found a spell to put the ascendant back together... And then... Here I am." She smile and punched her playfully in the shoulder.

"I never thought I'd say this... But I'm glad you're here." Damon said sarcastically.

"Bonnie!?" They both turned to the door to see Elena, gobsmacked.

"Yeah... It's me... I'm here." Bonnie said, smiling. "I'm back!"

Elena just ran to her and the two of them shared a hug that lasted way longer than any hug they've ever shared before.

"Where were you?" Elena asked.

Bonnie looked at Damon and he just shook his head slowly. "I'm not sure." Was all she decided to say.

"The bigger question is where were you? I thought the two of you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off each other."

Elena looked at Damon but he refused to make eye contact. Instead he just sighed. "So did I."

"So why aren't you?" Bonnie asked jokingly.

"Because Elena over here decided that instead of feeling she'd just get rid of the pain." Damon snapped.

"Is her humanity..." Bonnie started.

"Nope." Damon said, popping the 'p'. "She had Alaric compel away her memories of me."

"Oh my god!" Bonnie looked at Elena, judging her silently. "Why don't you just have him bring them back?"

"That's the fun part." Damon said sarcastically.

"First Elena didnt want them" he shot her a cold look.

"And then when she finally came to her senses it was too late. "

"What do you mean too late?"

"Ric's a human again." Damon explained.

"What?!" Bonnie yells. She was back for 5 minute and already had a headache from all of this.

"Can you both please stop talking about me like I'm not here?!" Elena yelled from behind them.

"Sorry." Bonnie smiled.

"I'm not." Damon smirked.

"I know I screwed up Damon but you can't be mad at me forever." She said, holding back tears.

"I beg to differ." He smirked which made her cringe.

"Can you both stop acting like kids!" Bonnie snapped. "I know how to fix this.

"How?" Damon asked.

"Sit down, Elena." Bonnie instructed. She placed her hands on the side of Elena's forehead and began chanting something that Damon couldn't make out.

Elena's eyes shut and she gets voices all over. One of them was hers and one belonged to someone else... "Damon." She whispered as Bonnie removed her hands and Elena's eyes opened again.

"I'll wait outside.." Bonnie began walking out.

"What did she do? Are you okay?" Damon asked.

"Damon, I'm better than okay.. Damon, I remember." She smiled.

"Ele-" He didnt get to finish, or even start, before she had his lips pressed against hers. Her hands made their way up his face and her fingers roped through his hair.

"Elena?" He asked, pulling out.

" . ."She said giving him a kiss between each word.

"I love you too." He whispered. He wasn't going to question what had just happened. He didnt have to. Elena, his Elena, was back.

They were both finally here.. Together. Nothing could ruin that.

Xxxx

And there you have it

I

im thinking of starting a new fic also about 3-4 chapters long so just let me know what you guys thing


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